Is the Language in Your Retreat Center's Website Too Hard to Understand?
Follow This Golden Rule for Copywriting and Never Wonder Again.
I hate to say it, but your retreat center website might be too hard to understand. Instead of inviting people in, your language could drive people away from your retreat center. But how can this be? You spent a lot of time on your website!
You have carefully picked each word and crafted the sentences so they’re full of meaning. You want people to understand how thoughtful you’ve been about your center and how rich their time will be there. So you’ve crammed that intentionality and care into the words on your website.
Unfortunately, all this effort can result in complicated copy. Instead of creating clarity, you’ve confused some potential guests so much that they may not even come. So how do you fix it? Thankfully, the answer is simple.
How do I know? I’m a copywriter helping people like you connect with the people you want to help. You and I know that one of the best ways to connect with people is through conversation. And that’s what your website needs to be – a conversation with your audience. But, before you’re ready to follow the golden rule, there are three truths you need to embrace.
Truth #1 – Your Website Is a Sales Tool
You know this already – at least, you do in your head. But in your heart, you resist the fact that you have to sell anything at all. Because that’s not what you signed up for. Running a retreat center is supposed to be about getting away from all that.
As much as you want to live in a kind of “monastery” mode, you’ve got to cross over into the marketplace every now and then.
Because, like it or not, you are selling something. And you’ve got four groups of customers coming to your website to see if you’ve got what they want: potential guests, donors, volunteers, and staff. You may not view donors, volunteers, and staff as customers, but they are all giving something in exchange for something else.
Guests – These folks are interested in the specific programs and services you offer, and if it will be worth the money you’re asking them to spend.
Donors – These people want to spend their money on supporting something they believe in. They’re buying the knowledge that their values are being carried forward.
Volunteers – Time is money, and these folks want to spend their time on something that matches their values. They're also looking for feelings of accomplishment and belonging, and they want to know if they’ll find that with you.
Staff – They want fair pay for their time and talents and a feeling of satisfaction that comes from putting physical and mental effort into the work.
These are the individuals who are coming to your website for answers and the ones you are talking to. Which means this website is for them. And this brings us to the second truth.
Truth #2 – Your Website Is Not for You or Your Colleagues
Every line of work has its jargon. Without realizing it, you’ve adopted a way of speaking with your colleagues that most people won’t understand. When writing your website or speaking to customers, it’s important not to assume that your way of living is a shared experience.
When I worked for a retreat center we would often refer to our line of work as “camping ministry.” We used the term so much that it never occurred to us that there would be people who didn’t know what that was.
Once, when my husband used the term with someone “on the outside,” he was stopped mid-sentence and told “you say that like we should know what it means.” The use of jargon actually created a disconnect between him and the person he was talking to. The opposite of what a conversation should be.
Here’s a rule of thumb to use when thinking about how to talk about your work without using jargon. Pretend you’re getting your teeth cleaned and the hygienist has asked you what you do. Can you tell them in a way that they’ll understand?
You’re not assuming that they aren’t smart enough to understand. You should assume they don’t use the same sort of language as you do every day. Just as you don’t use the same language they do – and I’m sure they’ve got plenty of dentistry jargon.
The added challenge with the hygienist is that you’ve also got a short amount of time in which to say what you do before they tell you it’s time to say “ahh.” Cue the third and final truth that must be embraced.
Truth #3 – You’ve Got a Limited Amount of Time to Keep Your Audience’s Attention
Even for those who can understand your words – their time is limited and their attention is being pulled in many directions. When language is complex, it takes anyone – regardless of background – longer to read and comprehend it.
Using simple language means they don’t have to work as hard or use a lot of time to read your website. Which means they can decide whether this is a place they want to be. We hate having our time wasted, and we’ll often go towards the more straightforward option just to save time and energy.
Your customers are coming to your website with questions in mind and they want to see them answered quickly and in the language they easily understand. That’s why copywriters like me embrace the following golden rule when writing websites, blogs, and marketing materials.
The Golden Rule of Copywriting: Write Like You’re Having a Conversation With the Reader
Pick up any book, or click on any link on the internet, about copywriting and they’ll all tell you the same thing - write like you talk. And not like you talk when you’re giving a presentation! Write like you talk when you’re having a conversation.
Most of us, when we’re having a conversation, are more comfortable using what is commonly referred to as plain language. We use shorter sentences and simpler words and adjust to the needs of our conversation partner.
It really is as simple as that!
But if it’s really so simple, why do I need to write an article about it? Unfortunately, we humans have a way of overcomplicating things. Retreat center websites are no exception. Let’s look at the most common ways they get confusing for customers.
3 Common Culprits in Retreat Center Websites
In the many websites I have read, I’ve noticed three common mistakes that get made, which can make reading difficult and turn customers away.
Use of the word “retreatants.” Do you use that word in conversation? Can you say it out loud without it sounding odd? I know I struggle with it! People aren’t going to be reading your website out loud, but they still need to be able to hear themselves saying the word if it’s going to make sense to them.
Have you ever tried to read a Russian novel before hearing someone pronounce the characters’ names? I’m convinced it takes me twice as long to read simply because I keep bumping up against the names. You don’t want people to have that experience with your website.
Offering a program that you cannot explain in your own words. Most often I see this when a center offers spiritual direction. Instead of offering a simple explanation, the website contains a long quote from an authority on the subject.
Again, think back to the dental hygienist…you haven’t brought a textbook or quote with you, so you have to rely on your own words. And, if you can’t explain it using your own words, you need to ask yourself “Why is that?”
A statement requiring that guests be supportive of – or behave in accordance with – the mission of the center. But no one ever explains what that means. What are you asking of your guests? You need to be clear.
There’s too much room in these statements for confusion. And this confusion can lead to potential guests either not coming, or coming and having a painful experience with your retreat center.
Any of these can make your website difficult to read and create confusion for your customers. And remember – your customers are potential guests, donors, volunteers, and staff. When you complicate your website copy, you lose customers. Using a conversational tone invites them in and makes them want to stay, donate, volunteer, or work.
So what do you do if you think your website is turning customers away? I’ve got a few suggestions to help you get moving in the right direction.
What You Can Start Doing Today
I recommend starting out with a self-audit of your website. Read through it – out loud – to see if you can find some of the problem areas. Picture yourself saying these words to someone who has nothing to do with your line of work. Are you feeling tempted to stop and explain what some of the words mean or give a better example than what’s provided? Pay attention to those spots and take notes.
Use a program like hemingwayapp.com to assess the difficulty of the language you use. Copy and paste a section from your website into the Hemingway program and prepare to be amazed – or humbled. The program will show you what grade level your site is written in, and highlight areas that could be changed to make it less complex.
In general, professional copywriters aim at a 6th-grade reading level for their copy. Some websites I’ve seen are written at a post-graduate level – yikes.
If you find your website is in need of some help - and you don’t have the time or energy to update it – consider contracting with a copywriter like myself. We are trained in the art of writing sales copy that is clear and concise and helps customers understand what you’re offering.
So don’t let your website’s language turn people away – adopt the golden rule of copywriting today!
